Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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