i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
