She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
