In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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