Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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