Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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