I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
