is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
