is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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