You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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