I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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