i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
