And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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