I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
