I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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