its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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