my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
