I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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