bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
