i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
tequila makes me forget i have legs
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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