some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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