mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
