i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
