R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
