I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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