It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
