I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
