I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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