Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
