I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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