the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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