i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
