SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
