White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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