I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He passed out mid-signature
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
