I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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