Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's never too late to be topless.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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