In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i would punch a child for taco bell
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
