He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
