everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
