Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
