I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Blood and glitter go together right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
