She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
