she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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