I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
