That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
