Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Its about making memories worth repressing
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
