I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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