yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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