Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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